Self-esteem, the perception of one’s own personal worth, reflects an individual’s self-awareness and sense of value. Our perceptions of ourselves (the ego) are formed through the process of acting, and then reflecting on our actions and how others perceive them. Self-esteem refers to how we feel about ourselves or how much we value ourselves. In fact, self-esteem can be defined as a general assessment of oneself. Most people’s perceptions of themselves are shaped in part by their daily experiences.
The characteristics of high self-esteem typically include believing in one’s importance and contribution to the world, having confidence in oneself, being comfortable asking for help when needed, and trusting one’s own decisions. On the contrary, individuals with low self-esteem often struggle to recognize their own worth, may anticipate humiliation from others, find it difficult to trust people, and may believe that they are not liked by others. These characteristics are generalizations and may not apply universally to every individual with high or low self-esteem. Additionally, self-esteem can be influenced by various factors and may fluctuate over time. Such a person is also likely lonely and isolated from others, and is uninterested in himself or others. Parents’ attitudes and behaviours, acceptance of children, clear demands, and respecting their actions in a specific area are all determinant factors that cause children to feel valuable. There are numerous methods for increasing self-esteem. The responsiveness of parents to their children influences the development of self-confidence and self-esteem very early in life. Parental mirroring communicates acceptance, acknowledgement, and admiration throughout early childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. This has a significant impact on the development of self-esteem and self-confidence. According to The Science of Listen First by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), research confirms that there is a link between parental style and children’s behaviour. The science sheets on affection, family activities, active listening, play, patience, physical activity, praise, information, routine, and keeping busy play a significant role in establishing a strong foundation for a child’s growth and also contribute to positive self-esteem in the child.
For example, The Science of Affection tells us that physical affection has actual health and developmental benefits that last throughout childhood and adulthood. Affection can help children grow smarter, healthier, happier, and more resilient. When babies build relationships with the adults who are accountable for them, they are laying the groundwork for later stages of life having healthy levels of self-esteem. Young children quickly learn what it means to be loved and appreciated when adults are quick to respond to their screams and smiles. Children develop a sense of being loved and accepted by others when they see the individuals they look up to, being kind and accepting themselves. Young children eventually develop a sense of being wanted, valued, and loved as they have the ability to trust that their parents and caregivers will meet their basic needs. It is not possible to measure the level of self-esteem in children under the age of five or six. This is because prior to this age, the two components of self-esteem, competence and worthiness, function in isolation from one another.
The years between the ages of five and eight are crucial for the development of healthy self-esteem. During the early developmental stages, typically between the ages of 5 to 8, children begin to assess themselves based on various factors such as their physical appearance, social acceptance, academic achievements, athletic and creative abilities, as well as their behavior. These aspects come together to form the child’s overall sense of who they are. During this stage of a child’s development, their self-esteem starts to form. This happens because children can now understand how their actions affect their abilities (competence) and judge their achievements based on their own sense of value (worthiness). They begin to navigate a range of feelings and attitudes that come with this understanding, which helps shape their overall self-esteem.
As the child gets older, their circle of friends, the things they have done so far, and the expectations others have of them also expand. The youngster will gradually become more self-aware of the activities in which they excel and those in which they struggle. When a person makes an effort to defend and preserve their feeling of self-worth in the face of the pressures, difficulties, and experiences of life, their level of self-esteem will start to have an influence on their behaviour. Our performances are self-evaluated via the lens of our self-esteem, which works as a filter. In this sense, it dictates how we face upcoming responsibilities. Children who receive proper care and attention become more self-assured, experience less anxiety, and have a greater chance of achieving better health, relationships, and educational outcomes.
Everyone has the ability to cultivate healthy levels of self-esteem, but doing so takes time and effort. The development of genuine self-worth takes place throughout the course of a person’s entire life, during which most of us will go through a variety of highs and lows. A parent’s role is to ensure that their children are aware of their love for them and to equip them with the information and skills they require to have the confidence that they can handle the myriad of obstacles that will inevitably arise throughout their lives.
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Shaffer, D.R. and Kipp, K. (2013). Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence. Cengage Learning.
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Listen First. (n.d.). Listen First. Retrieved October 9, 2022, from https://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/listen-first/listen-first.html
The Science of Active Listening. (n.d.). Active Listening Is When a Caregiver Listens to Their Child With the Intent to Listen. Retrieved October 9, 2022, from https://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/listen-first/science-of-care/video/the-science-of-active-listening.html
The Science of Care. (n.d.). Evidence-based Science That Informs Parenting and Caregiving Around the World. Click Here to Watch and Explore. Retrieved October 9, 2022, from https://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/listen-first/science-of-care.html
Wheeler, S.B. (2010). Effects of self-esteem and academic performance on adolescent decision-making: an examination of early sexual intercourse and illegal substance use. Journal of Adolescent Health, 47(6), 582–590.
